This slave: About the City and Out of the Walls

So, the last few days have been interesting. Of all my Masters, Master Vasteel is by far the nicest and most trusting. After my chores are done, I am allowed to roam the city with considerable freedom. It is weird, and I must admit, I don't know what to do a lot of the times. I think I will find a library to frequent or a scribe to bother. I have always been a bit of a trouble-maker, at least in my own eyes, for I do things that do not follow with an exact plan laid before me by Masters. I always find a way out of my cage, I read, I dance and sing...but only away from the eyes of others. I love dancing nearly as much as I love reading...Not that I'd let anyone know. If...Master knew, he'd probably make me perform. He has this weird thing about showing me off, making me be social and such. It is strange and unfamiliar, but...whatever pleases Master pleases me, I guess.

The other day I had finished my chores and went to find Master. Usually Master is at the City Square, so I went there and found Mister Raunik instead. He was sitting under the Tree and we talked for a while. It was a little awkward, because I had heard him speaking with Master about buying me. I admitted I had heard him and he wasn't upset...he was just surprised I could understand Tyen. I thought that was quite silly...I live with Tyeni, why should I not understand them? So, Mister Raunik was very impressed with my intelligence. and we moved our conversation to a garden on the North Wall...to find a copper-haired woman lying in the grass. It was the woman who had assisted Mister Raunik with Master's injury a few nights before, and he was very broken up. I didn't know the woman and...I have never dealt with death. I did not know what to think. People do not die, they get sold or I get sold and we never see one another again...this was odd, but I wished to comfort Mister Raunik. I did not know how! I was very confused and he was very upset...He took me back to the Square and from there, I went home...I could not sleep.

On a lighter note, to veer away from unpleasant subjects, I spent the morning with Jake yesterday. He is an amazing little man! I hope Master does not find out that we left the city walls, though...I do not think he would would approve. However, Jake and I sat in the forest for quite a while, simply talking. It was very nice...And there are "rabbit's" out there that are not rabbits! Rabbits do not have claws like that!

To Jake, I mentioned that I do not have a name I like, and he "named" me Mint. Mint...It's a sweet name, I believe. I rather like it. It felt very silly to be called Mint, but Jake said he wanted something to call me "that doesn't make you cringe every time I say it." So, to Jake, I am Mint, and only he may call me that.

We talked for a great while, about my veil, about Tyeni ways, about Mistress, of whom he is fond. We began to speak of lovers...well, that was my fault, really. Jake said he'd shared Mistress' bed twice, and he'd been honest and kind every time I met him, this day especially and...I told him of Guy. I felt very stupid afterwards, and I actually referred to myself as a person while speaking of it...I was very frightened of what Jake may say, but I have never told anyone anything about myself...Masters are never interested in what a slave thinks, they just wish they would do their duties and be done with it. Master Vasteel is hardly an exception, even though he is an amazing man...but Jake wants to know what I think...It is odd.

But before that, we spoke of how perhaps my Gods are finally blessing me. I unwillingly served Elbahn for so very long that I began to think of him as my patron God, but Melchior has always been close to my heart, for he stands for what I am, save for a pleasure slave, but in my mind, I am as free as I need to be. I have a great Master who cares about me, a beautiful Mistress who does not wish me dead and I think...a friend.

I am happy.
What a frightening concept.

This slave: Musings Of A Pampered Pet

I am fond of my Master.

I find it odd to feel happy around someone after all these years. My last escapade with positive feelings led me to be bought a bastard of a man who beat me daily. Somehow Master Vasteel has brought about pleasant emotions and not brought pain...yet. He has a wife, a gorgeous woman who I am very proud to call my Mistress, and the Tyeni seem very much in love. Some of their customs confuse me, however, such as the fact I must wear a veil. Why a veil? I'll never understand it and honestly? It bothers me quite a bit, but Master seems to like it, so I am pleased. However, Master is very busy, as he is the Reeve, and everyone and their brother seems to have a problem...This leaves myself and the Mistress rather lonely sometimes, but I can cope with it.

However, I guess Mistress cannot cope quite so well with Master's absence, for she has hired a man to be her companion. He strikes a rather shocking resemblance to myself, and I find it very funny. Jake has flaming hair a bit lighter than my own, and his eyes are blue and not green, but we're both very similar in height and build, save for the fact I'm very obviously female and a smidgen taller. I ponder if this is a simple coincidence or purposeful. I don't even pretend to know.

I talked to Jake the other night when Master went to get checked up on. Master instructed me to speak to people and...well, I don't like talking to people. It was kind of odd. However, the choice of who to talk to was thankfully stolen when Jake spoke to me, and I find him to be quite a nice man.

I overheard the Master talking to a man who /sounded/ Tirrish, but was blatantly not Tir. He spoke broken Tyen and was asking if I was for sale...I blocked Jake from my thoughts as I listened to their conversation. I was a little apprehensive at first, but the man seemed to only wish me for a gatherer, and Master deterred this train of thought. I'm not a gatherer...Thank Melchior that all this slave is good for is sex, no? Or perhaps Elbahn for that...Master follows Elbahn, as does Mistress. I feel that I am not worthy to worship Melchior, seeing as I "worship Elbahn" quite a bit more than I read it seems...But I still value knowledge above everything except the Master's wishes...perhaps I am just choosing the worship of the Master over the worship of my Gods? I do not know.

I do know something, however: I am happy with my Master. He gave me a collar after we left Jake and the others. A collar! I have not had a collar since I shared Guy's Master. It is such a nice collar, and it's a wonderful feeling to have a collar about my neck once more. He also gave me a veil, and I admit it's pretty, if extremely baffling. It's only a half veil, so my eyes are unobstructed as I take in the knowledge around me...although, the floor isn't very informative.

This slave: Avert Your Eyes, Dearest, The Suns Greet Us Now

Needless to say, Guy and I were punished. I do not even honestly know what they did to him, for we were punished separately. I was thrust into my cage and chained to the bars. I remember watching helplessly as the Master shouted at Guy to leave the room and wait for him outside the door. The gangly, boring man fumed and paced for a while, often stopping to curse at me, and I simply laid there, crying silently. I felt horrible, and I could only imagine how angry Guy was at me. The Master fumed and ranted until finally he left the room to shout at Guy. I didn't hear much, because the shouting quickly subsided and they talked with quiet words. Shortly, the Master returned, announced shortly to me that I was being sold, and readied for bed. I remember saying nothing and feel numb.

The next morning, I was awoken in the bathing room by icy water being dumped over my naked form. Startled, I had tried to stand and simply hurt myself, finding that I was chained to the floor by my collar. Large, familiar hands unlatched the chain and pulled me roughly to my feet. I was pushed against the wall and my hands were secured above my head. I remember being frightened, but more strongly I remember feeling as if I deserved whatever came to me. I had disobeyed the Master, and this was something you never do.

The man I am sure was Guy raised a whip and brought it down across my back, forcing a cry from my throat. Over and over again the lashes fell like rain on my back, and it went from excruciating to numb...to pleasurable. Shamefully, I found myself begging for more, and that is when the whipping stopped. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I could feel the blood running down my back, but I...wanted more. And I cried, and Guy left and the Master stepped forward, releasing my hands so I collapsed to the ground, kneeling against the wall. I remember looking back at the Master and what I saw was a disgusted yet interested expression mixed unharmoniously upon his guant visage. I remember whimpering to him and being slapped. That struck the final chord for my body, and I passed out.

So, I was sold, and my new Master was cruel. Often I was beaten for no reason, and his love-making was anything but gentle. He called me "Zira," for reasons I don't know even to this day, and it seems the name has stuck. I spent the last three years, physically worn, often bruised inside and out, and...I admit that I loved every second of it. But the mind games were just too much. He exploited my fears for his own entertainment, and sometimes played at being the gentle lover only to beat me senseless halfway through. Mentally, I was constantly drained, and the only rest I ever obtained was when he was busy. I was allowed to roam the house when he was not about, unlike with my previous Masters, and he had a small library. It was stuffy and had no fiction novels to speak of, but I learned a great deal.

I suppose he tired of me, for I got used to his tricks, and recently he sold me to my new Master, Reeve Vasteel.

This slave: The Why & How of Intelligence & Stupidity

The large man was yet another slave of my new Master. His name was Guy and, while he didn't seem very apologetic while he was locking me in a cage at the end of what I assumed to be my new Master's bed, he awoke me the next morning and told me he was in fact very sorry for the way he treated me the night before. The man I was to be serving was a tall, almost gangly man and he smelled like books. The only time I saw him for the first three seasons was in bed. He was simple and easy to please, never wanting much and falling asleep quickly. In fact, he was quite boring and I got tired of doing nothing all day and then doing almost that during the night time.

During the day, I was locked up in that same cage and I actually began to fear for the health of both my body and my mind. While being locked at the end of a bed was familiar, I had truly was given nothing to think about and barely anything to physically ~do~. Often, I simply laid there, bored and naked, staring at the ceiling of my cage. The responsibility of taking care of me fell to none other than Guy, who was a kind, gentle man who I actually became quite fond of. Whenever the Master was gone, Guy would let me out and oftentimes I could be found in the library with him. He taught me how to read and we would sit about talking of things for the entire day until just before the Master was due home and I was to be returned to my cage. It went on like this for two whole seasons, and I finally learned what had happened to the world concerning the Darkness. It...was baffling, but once again, it truly didn't concern my world, so I wasn't overly concerned with it. My little universe revolved around wherever I happened to take up residence, and then it was consumed by boring sex with the Master and intriguing conversation with Guy.

Finally, Autumn came, and with it cold weather and a fire in the grand fireplace within the library. The days went on and on and I became more and more attatched to Guy. He was kind to me, he was smart and protective and, I admit, very attractive. As often as possible, I made a point of sitting in his lap while we read, or snuggling up to him and I think he knew right away what I was getting at. Finally, I think I bothered him quite a bit one day and he picked me up (not a hard thing to do, considering our difference in size), set me on the table before the fire, and looked me in the eyes. I remember giggling stupidly, because Guy had very fine eyes to look into, and the entire set up in the library was like something from one of the silly romantic stories I had found.

With his back to the fire, Guy stood before me, hands on my shoulders, and explained to me that we could not be together, giving me several excuses and explanations as to why, many of which including the words, "If the Master found out..." and then completely nullified his point by kissing me greedily and climbing onto the table above me. I remember him pushing me back, flat on the table and books dropping to the floor as my hands instinctively went above my head. This didn't even earn me a quizzical expression, as I had expected. Instead, one hand wrapped around both my wrists as the crept up my dress, pushing the material up with his hand. And for once, it didn't feel like being put it "use." It felt synonymous with love-making, how Matilda had drunkenly described it so long ago. I felt...loved.

After that first time with Guy, it didn't feel torturous to be put to use by the Master because I knew something better was waiting the next day. Oftentimes, our conversations melted into kissing after that milestone in our friendship, but we were careful not to get caught. We both knew we'd be severely punished should we ever be found out.

After Darkfall came, the Master came about the household a lot more. I was kept under lock and key day and night, for he was always about. I grew more and more restless and finally, begged Guy to let me out one day. The Master had left the house for a bit and I had not been out in what felt like ages. In fact, I had not been TOUCHED save for a few times. I was damn near dying to be used, it was excruciating.

Guy let me out, reluctantly, telling me that I could only be out for a bit and I sat on the bed of our Master and looked pleadingly up at him, naked as I was. I remember him turning from me to scold me properly, for he was distracted by my lack of clothing. I begged, down on my knees, I begged to be used and finally, Guy caved and turned from his ashamed position, plucked me from the floor and tossed me onto the bed. I never have minded being manhandled, especially after being with him, and I do believe he is the reason for it. He was atop me quickly and I had never felt so happy, and never have since. I remember him kissing me in the greedy fashion he always had and I followed suit, my hands held above my head by a single large hand. We ~made~love~ and climaxed together...just as the Master walked in.

This slave: The Wear & Tear of Heartstrings

Many think of me simply being a slave. This slave is how I refer to myself aloud, so I don't see why they would think otherwise. I truly don't even have a name. I often thought that one day a Master would come along, sweeping me into his arms, a loving Master who would have me study and use me to keep his bed warm at night. A scholar, if you will. He would be a beauty of a man and a disciple of Melchior, my beloved Lord. He would come to love me, and cherish the work I did and the love I had for him, and he would give me a name. Alas, I know this shall never be, for my imagination is wildly out of sync with reality.

Ah, but it was never to be. From the day I was born, I was loathed. My mother, a pleasure slave who'd accidentally conceived, died giving birth to me, and I was handed off to a woman who'd lost her child. Her name was Matilda, and she hated me so. I never much cared for her, for she was stupid and thought I was more addled than she. In fact, I never got called anything but "Stupid Girl" by her - "Girl" if she was feeling affectionate.

However, Matilda was never really affectionate, not even with her Master. Now THAT was a man. He was kind and gentle and...Well, that's for later on in the story, isn't it? Back to Matilda...She was a cruel woman, who taught me nothing but to be quiet and always listen to her. I guess she was the root of my submissive behavior, and for many of my habits that linger still. If my eyes were away from the floorboards, I was beaten with her horrible cane, and I was never allowed to say "Me" or "I". She said I simply wasn't worthy of referring to myself as a person. I thought this was nonsense, told her so, and was subsequently beaten until I could no longer move. I don't say I aloud any longer.

Eventually, Matilda died and I secretly celebrated. I was thirteen by the time the old hag was sent off to Annwn, and the Master could finally put me to "use", or at least that's what he referred to it as. What he saw as use turned out to be what Matilda had once fondly (and drunkenly) described to me as love-making. Well, it didn't feel loving the first time, and I admit that I cried. In fact, I was rather frightened when the Master told me to take off my dress the first time. My jaw dropped, and my breathing quickened, I remember, and he tossed me onto the bed after shedding my clothing himself. I remember scrambling backwards to the pillows and finally feeling him atop my naked flesh, but I don't remember much more of what actually happened after that.

What I ~do~ remember is awaking on the floor with a collar around my neck and a chain attached to the collar, sore in all the wrong places. The Master peered over the edge of the bed at me, looking boyishly happy and told me that I wasn't to do housework any longer. Apparently, he was pleased with me.

So began my training as a pleasure slave, and the initial shock wore off quickly. I quickly found that I loved my "work". In fact, I often found myself begging for more, but my Master was a busy man and often had more pressing issues. A year after Matilda died, I was sold for the first time.

In all my short years, I had never left the household. Often, I had looked out from the second floor's window onto the street and watch things go by, wondering what it was like to live down there, but I never truly envied them, for they looked more and more miserable as years went by. The year before Matilda died, I heard a lot about the "Darkness" and was kept away from the windows. After I was allowed to return to my gazing, I found the streets to be more crowded then was normal, but no one answered my unspoken questions, and I didn't worry about it because I was never going to be out there, right?

Wrong.

So Master got married, and the Mistress ~hated!~ me. In fact, she beat me more than Matilda did and put my back to work doing chores about the house. She was VILE and made the old hag I'd been raised by look like a fluffy rabbit. One night, while the Master was sleeping, she took me from my spot at the end of the bed and ordered me to dress. I thought this was silly, but didn't say anything, for I had heard the argument earlier that day that Master lost. I was to be sold, but the Master didn't wish to be awake when it was done. So much for being loved.

In all honesty, I didn't think it would be so frightening! We went out under the red moon of Morhaig at what I knew to be witching hour, and by Melchior, it was scary. There were still people everywhere, but now they shuffled about in cloaks and such nonsense, and some leered at the Mistress and I. We traveled through disgusting, filthy places and finally stopped in an alleyway. The Mistress hissed into the darkness and I remember trying to bolt as a large man stepped from the shadows. I, of course, fell on my behind and nearly choked on my collar, and the man ~laughed~ at me! Angry now, the Mistress tugged me up to a standing position and I'll never forget the next exchange that was had:

"She's a pretty one," the man had said, and his voice made my skin crawl.

"Yes, yes, I don't care. Give me the money and you can have the slut." And this was from the Mistress, and I silently prayed she would be killed on the return trip to my Master's bed-chambers. A bag was handed to the snake holding my leash, and it wasn't even counted before she put the lead in the large man's hand. I was tugged toward him, and stumbled to my knees. He laughed and, breaking my rule, I looked directly up at him to hear the words, "She'll do nicely."

The last I saw of that miserable woman who had essentially ruined my life was the tail of her cloak swishing away into the night. Not even allowed the dignity of walking, I was scooped up and thrown over the nasty man's shoulder, the baggy skirt I wore sliding up above my waist as he adjusted me and walked away, down into the night. We walked for quite a while and, left without any dignity to speak of anyways, I sobbed quietly and eventually cried myself to sleep.