As is usual, the cook decided he didn't want me about today and so I opted to wander about the part of the city I felt safe in. On North Market Street I ran into someone rather unexpected...the kind axeman, Garrach. I was not expected home for some time and he offered to go somewhere and talk...and I had not talked with anyone for a long time...Jake never seemed to have time for me as of late and Mistress...well Mistress is just not good company.
Garrach took me to Cymur's Flames and together we talked of many things. At first he and I simply talked of ourselves. He seems to like it when I talk of Guy...says the slave in me goes away, which is just downright silly, for I have always been a slave; how can I be anything else?
He also...asked me to bed Master all the more, to help Mistress...And while, I am rue to help /her/, I will do it for Garrach...and my growing love of Elbahn. That was not the only thing he offered as conversation topics...he also wishes to see me freed...and honestly? I don't know...At first I balked at the idea. Absolutely no way in all the Dark-covered world! I thought. But...
After last night...with Jake...I began to think. Maybe...maybe being freed would not be so bad...I would be able to choose my own lovers and I would not have to listen to anyone I did not want to listen to...I could spend my time as I wanted and not in that wretched kitchen...
I think that being able to choose whose bed I shared would be the best of all of it...and not having to be home at a certain time. I found myself smiled upon by Elbahn as Jake and I worshiped in the living room...Thank Elbahn we were not walked in on! Master would have punished me and probably Jake as well.
Elbahn smiles on me...Thank the Gods.
Friday, March 9, 2007
This slave: A Frightening Idea
I cannot believe I lost this during the move to the new house. What if Master had found it?! That would have been a terrible disaster, should it had occurred...Master...I do not think Master understands me.
We moved right after the plague. It was kind of scary during the time of the sickness, for Master wasn't about and neither was Frederick. Mistress wouldn't allow Jake out of the house and so...Well, I just stayed out of the way.
After the plague was over and I was allowed to leave the house again, Master began speaking of buying a tavern, and he has and now I cook there from time to time. It is frightening; there are many people who want many things and I get overwhelmed. Once I even froze up and the main cook shouted at me, so I left. I reason it is better to stay out of the way and neglect my duties than stay there and be a bother.
I find I feel more and more like a bother as time passes, as I do nothing and all the city is busy with everything; with problems and work and relationships and politics. On and on life goes about me and I find myself lost in it's swirling colors and very frightened...
For instance, I was to get something for Master Vasteel a few mornings ago. He did not feel like going, or was busy or something of the sort and so I was sent out...and I got lost. We had just moved and I found myself in the refugee district, lost and...okay, I admit, crying. I was so frightened! There were people shouting and rats everywhere and many of the men I passed leered and one even tried to convince me to come within his dwelling...I ran as fast as I could and bumped into an old woman, nearly knocking her down. She saw I was crying and asked what was wrong and she helped me find Military Way. I thanked her and asked Melchior and Elbahn to bless the kind woman before running at top speed to the Dragon, hoping against hope that Master would be there....
To no avail.
Master was not at the Dragon, and so I wandered about, feeling safer, but still frightened until I saw the man! Yes, the gargantuan blue man with the axe just as large! The man with the kind eyes who Master and Mistress had frowned at...By Elbahn's Smile, he seems like Guy....
And there was a Constable! A Constable who serves under Master! This would surely be my ticket home, no?
Of course not.
Constable Beos would not even save me a second glance and the kind axeman was simply too busy to care about a short, crying slave of a man he apparently disliked. Luckily, Master Vasteel came into the Inn and I was so relieved that I found myself at his knees, hugging him and sobbing. Master didn't like this, but allowed it because I am "Only a Slave."...I let it pass, biting my tongue. His wife is just as irrational as I am at times...why does he think that being frightened is simply the emotion of a slave?
No matter, for Master took me outside and we were going to go home...until he began fighting with the axeman. He even drew his rapiers and threatened him and said stupid things fueled by anger. I was at my wit's end and I dropped to the ground and sobbed.
The axeman, who's name was apparently Garrach, said some terrible things and after Master gave in and left, obviously defeated (though I doubt he saw it that way), he asked me to go back and get an apology from Garrach. Get an apology from that giant of a man?! The very idea frightened me, but Master asked it of me...So I obliged. All I had to do was simply speak the man's name and he apologized, but then, he did something strange. He told me not to call him Mister, as I do with everyone, even Jake. And he engaged me in conversation and asked if I had time to talk. I did not at the time, and he nodded, understanding, and asked for me to seek him out should I ever have the time...
What an interesting proposition.
We moved right after the plague. It was kind of scary during the time of the sickness, for Master wasn't about and neither was Frederick. Mistress wouldn't allow Jake out of the house and so...Well, I just stayed out of the way.
After the plague was over and I was allowed to leave the house again, Master began speaking of buying a tavern, and he has and now I cook there from time to time. It is frightening; there are many people who want many things and I get overwhelmed. Once I even froze up and the main cook shouted at me, so I left. I reason it is better to stay out of the way and neglect my duties than stay there and be a bother.
I find I feel more and more like a bother as time passes, as I do nothing and all the city is busy with everything; with problems and work and relationships and politics. On and on life goes about me and I find myself lost in it's swirling colors and very frightened...
For instance, I was to get something for Master Vasteel a few mornings ago. He did not feel like going, or was busy or something of the sort and so I was sent out...and I got lost. We had just moved and I found myself in the refugee district, lost and...okay, I admit, crying. I was so frightened! There were people shouting and rats everywhere and many of the men I passed leered and one even tried to convince me to come within his dwelling...I ran as fast as I could and bumped into an old woman, nearly knocking her down. She saw I was crying and asked what was wrong and she helped me find Military Way. I thanked her and asked Melchior and Elbahn to bless the kind woman before running at top speed to the Dragon, hoping against hope that Master would be there....
To no avail.
Master was not at the Dragon, and so I wandered about, feeling safer, but still frightened until I saw the man! Yes, the gargantuan blue man with the axe just as large! The man with the kind eyes who Master and Mistress had frowned at...By Elbahn's Smile, he seems like Guy....
And there was a Constable! A Constable who serves under Master! This would surely be my ticket home, no?
Of course not.
Constable Beos would not even save me a second glance and the kind axeman was simply too busy to care about a short, crying slave of a man he apparently disliked. Luckily, Master Vasteel came into the Inn and I was so relieved that I found myself at his knees, hugging him and sobbing. Master didn't like this, but allowed it because I am "Only a Slave."...I let it pass, biting my tongue. His wife is just as irrational as I am at times...why does he think that being frightened is simply the emotion of a slave?
No matter, for Master took me outside and we were going to go home...until he began fighting with the axeman. He even drew his rapiers and threatened him and said stupid things fueled by anger. I was at my wit's end and I dropped to the ground and sobbed.
The axeman, who's name was apparently Garrach, said some terrible things and after Master gave in and left, obviously defeated (though I doubt he saw it that way), he asked me to go back and get an apology from Garrach. Get an apology from that giant of a man?! The very idea frightened me, but Master asked it of me...So I obliged. All I had to do was simply speak the man's name and he apologized, but then, he did something strange. He told me not to call him Mister, as I do with everyone, even Jake. And he engaged me in conversation and asked if I had time to talk. I did not at the time, and he nodded, understanding, and asked for me to seek him out should I ever have the time...
What an interesting proposition.
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